Lately, this describes me to a "T"! :)
Proof is in the fact that it is 1:25 a.m. and I'm on the couch, blogging! :)
This after 4 hours of sleep last night . . . and not much more than 5 in any given night the last month or so . . . yet, I'm not feeling it!!
I've been exercising better (not running every day - lifting weights - doing different things), I've been eating MUCH better (not starving myself) and have not had a Diet Dew (or ANY soda!) for a MONTH. I've also had very little sugar (treats on the weekends only) and LOTS of fruits, veggies, proteins and WATER!! I've learned that I like most veggies, avacados, protein shakes, pizza (on Saturday to raise my "leptin" - google it!) and coffee (yes, coffee!)!
I've just completed my fourth week at my new job, and with this week came the notice that I had been awarded a position that I applied for with MORE hours (70% is the classification - which averages 7 days in 2 weeks!). It is the midnight (11 p.m. - 7 a.m.) shift, which is why I'm not stressing about being awake at 1:30 in the morning! I'm excited about this shift as I can usually sleep anytime and anywhere, I will still have days, evenings and weekends to do things I want to (I'll just have to adjust sleep around my plans) and it's more hours with a little better pay (than my previous position - and much more than the 40% position I originally took!). And it's in the ER which is where I really enjoy being!
God's hand has just been SO EVIDENT to me in the past month that I can't even describe it!
I LOVE this verse as it is SO TRUE!
In ALL of the changes this last month has brought my way, I have SOUGHT the LORD first in all of them, and HE has answered BEYOND anything that I could HOPE or THINK!
I know with all my being that Rickey always wanted the BEST for us and that one of his primary desires was to see me happy! Because of this and the wonderful love that we shared, I can trust that God who loves me WAY MORE than Rickey ever did/could have, will do even more for me than Rickey ever could have done! I can, therefore, move joyfully into the future . . . knowing that I have SEEN the LORD move this month. CHANGE is SCARY. I LIKE the FAMILIAR. I like to know what is around the next corner, but, when I RELINQUISH that control, the LORD does take center stage and all I have to do is trust. He never command that I understand, or even like all that comes to me, He just tells me to trust. To seek Him so that he can answer me. To seek HIM so that He CAN deliver me from my fears!
I don't know what tomorrow, or next week or next month will bring, so I CHOOSE to embrace each "TODAY" that has been gifted to me! :) I will rest in the assurance that HIS love for me will never waiver and will never fail. I know that I WILL fail, as a daughter, sister, friend, employee, mommy . . . but that God will love me anyway. He will lead if I just let Him! :)
I often am told that I seem very happy, and that is what I want people to see. I want them to see that the JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH!! :) I want HIS light to shine through me - by way of my smile so that I may point others to HIM! :)
Since Tessa's Birthday on July 12, I have started a new job, a new exercise routine, new eating habits. I've made some AWESOME new friends, and learned more about myself along the way! I've seen Tessa change her mind about going "away" to college, give her room to her little sister and move herself to Grandma & Papa's house (just a little "change of scenery" for all of us)! I've come to appreciate that things don't make sense to me. I don't understand how God works, and I may never, this side of GLORY! I've relaxed MUCH on a messy house, sleep patterns and road trips (taken by the girls without me along "for safety"). I've grown in ways I thought I never would have, but still have grown. God has given me things that I have asked for, and blessed me with things I didn't dare even ask, but hoped for! I've had the opportunity to have some really good conversation with my girls - from the big things (how THEY feel at this point in life and about losing their Daddy) to little, silly, funny, laugh provoking things! I, just today was able to talk to one of Rickey's DEAREST friends who is embarking on an endeavor that we can hopefully incorporate Rickey's legacy into (more to come as details are ironed out!). This was one of my really big prayers was that we could HONOR Rick's life through his love for HUNTING, and it appears that GOD is opening some doors! I'm thankful for his friends who share this desire with me, and my friends who are anxious to see where God takes this and want to stand alongside of me as we honor Rickey's memory! :)
Today, I CHOOSE to allow God to take care of the "little" stuff and the "big" stuff and to sit back, let Him lead and "enjoy the journey! :)
After the "whirlwind" month that has just passed, I can truly say that each and every day (and sometimes each and every minute), I have SEEN God's hand at work. I have SEEN Him moving in ways I never dreamed possible . . . so, i can say with calm assurance . . .
GOD STILL MOVES!