{what happens when you decide to "creep"}

OK ... so i realize that i left you all kind of hanging for awhile here ... sorry, july totally got away on me!

after reading all of my crazy questions, rick was actually quite gracious, answering all of them and then some, while telling me that he considered me a "hoot" which i think was a compliment! his answers gave me a good bit of insight into who he was {or said he was} and answered the two most important ... he did love MY Jesus and my green bay packers ... so at least he was worth a second thought and further conversation!

since he said he hadn't found a local church to attend, i told him where i went to church and invited him to join me on sunday, and then i also texted him, since he provided me with his cell number.

i simply said, "hi rick" to which he replied "hi sheila" ... and when i asked how he knew it was me, he replied that he hadn't given his number to "that many girls" today ... oh, boy ... that money for comedian lessons well spent yet again!

in texting, he also told me that he was headed to peshtigo to watch soccer practice as he was the coach and the season was starting soon ... coaches couldn't officially hold practice since it was off season, but the team captains could and the coaches could watch.

since that was the case, and i was headed to see the girls at Bible camp, i decided to put my detective skills to the test since i'd learned in my snooping the day before that he actually lived right on my route to camp.  with slightly shaking hands, i followed the gps directions down the twisty, graveled country roads, wondering if i'd gone a bit crazy! i turned left, off the main road, then left again, and then right and there, on the left side of the little country road was the fire number that identified his driveway ... but i couldn't see the house, it appeared to be down a long gravel driveway, tucked away in the forest! just as i got *very brave* ... remember, he was on the way to practice ... and put my blinker on to turn into his driveway, it hit me ... HE COULD BE LYING!!  he could be home. he could have a wife and 5 kids playing in the yard, he could be a lunatic, he could be ... {sometimes i watch too much t.v. and read too many books} any number of creepy, very bad things!

now my hands were really shaking as i turned as quickly as i could into that driveway and booked it out of there as fast as i dared ... without looking like it was actually ME who was being the "creeper"!

i honestly think my hands shook and my heart beat at a very uncommon tempo the rest of the way to camp while i tried to reassure myself that i was the only one who knew of my craziness!

i had a nice visit with the girls, got to wish tessa a very happy 18th birthday and headed home ... not via the route that took me past that long, now scary, driveway! 

{p.s. ... rick really was at soccer practice that day and there was not a wife and 5 children playing in the yard. he was not any of those creepy, scary things that i imagined that he could have been, and i didn't end up chopped in teeny, tiny pieces and thrown in the river as fish food, but i sure cured myself of "creeping" at least for the time being!}

{i found you}

.... it was 5 years ago today after finding and friend requesting rick on facebook, that i sent him a p.m. that simply said, "sorry, found you" :)

little did i know that he had horrible cell service at his house and his cell service doubled as his internet, so he didn't get my message right away ... which certainly led me to believe that maybe i made a mistake by creeping, but i was still holding out hope!

thankfully once he had a decent signal, he got my message and he did reply ... 

"thanks sheila, i didn't realize a facebook stalking would be so nice!" 

he then offered that i could ask any questions that i wanted to ... 

an offer i think he may have regretted soon after reading my next message!

i decided that i wasn't going to waste time and not ask the important questions, so i asked about his family relationships, prior marriage, relationship with his kids, did he drink, did he smoke, some other quite personal questions and the two "deal breaker questions" ...

he had said he liked liverpool soccer, but did he like my green bay packers

and

did he love my Jesus?

again ... his internet connection wasn't the greatest, or he had to process all the questions this crazy lady fired at him {or maybe a bit of both} so i didn't hear anymore back from him that day, and went to bed wondering if i'd ever hear from him again!

tune in tomorrow to find out HIS take on all the questions i shot his way and my totally crazy panic stricken moment when i decided to creep on his house!

{getting to know you}

... the next day when i checked my computer, i had a notification that i had received some messages on the plenty of fish site ... 

eek ... that was kind of scary!

some were automatic delete ones, like dr. cheerio who i mentioned yesterday!

another, namely the guy from the gym doing the pushups went something like this ...

"hey, i saw that you checked out my profile but you didn't comment." 

um ... 

no ...

i didn't ...

was i supposed to?

well, i didn't actually say that, but i thought it! 

i'm not actually sure how i responded, but i must have said something because i remember that he then came back with ...

"do you know the problem is with runner girls?"

to which i remember i responded ...

"as my dad would say ... what did you do with the money your dad gave you for comedy lessons?"

which instantly sparked an "lol" back from gym guy ... and that was the beginning!

at that point, cautious me kicked back in and i decided to check him out on facebook ... to see what things there looked like!

thankfully, rick didn't really care who looked for him, so nothing was really hidden {which of course i couldn't be sure of at that point}. most of his personal info was out there for the world to see!  from his facebook, i could find where he lived, which i promptly googled and found to be 30ish miles from me. i found where he worked. which was a gym a hour north of me as well as where he coached soccer. which was a half hour south of me. at that point, i again felt brave and sent him a friend request, not knowing if he would accept or if i'd ever hear any more from him!

... but, hear back, I did ... however, that is part of tomorrow's story! :) 

... stay tuned! :) 

{the beginning}

five years ... seems like yesterday, seems like forever!

five years ago tonight ... a new adventure began!

five years ago today i had taken all 3 girls to Bible camp for the week and when i got home i felt brave!

rickey and i had had a very good marriage.  

i had 2 amazing step-kids and he and i had 3 more girls that we had added to our wonderful family.

i knew that marriage could be good, very good, in fact and that i was only 45 years old and {hopefully} had lots of life left to live and i didn't think i wanted to live it alone!

i knew that in a week i was starting new job and thought it would be nice to have someone to share the excitement and nervousness and adventure with. and i honestly thought it would be nice to have someone to go out to pizza with once in awhile!

i knew that i missed companionship.

i knew, from conversations that rickey and i had had way back in the beginning our our relationship over 20 years earlier that he wouldn't want me to be alone and grieving forever.

... and i knew that rickey was not coming back. i had come to terms with that, and i knew that he was thoroughly enjoying the glories of Heaven and wouldn't want to come back ... even if he could!

i knew that i'd never stop loving him, but, i thought maybe, just maybe, God had someone new out there for me ... and how would i know if i didn't do a little looking?

so ... i got brave and went WAY OUT of my comfort zone and created a profile on a {collective gasp} online dating site called "plenty of fish" ...

i was very vague about who i was and where i was from and most other identifying pieces of information.  i simply went by runner girl and showed a photo of myself running in the hope memorial relay the month prior.

i also peeked at a few of the profiles that were posted ... you know, guys close to my age, those who lived relatively close to me {i didn't think i wanted a long distance relationship} and those that seemed *nice* ... as if you can really tell from a photo and a profile on a dating site! {besides i was very skeptical that  "those dating sites" worked anyway!}.

i remember that i saw the profile of a "dr. cheerio" {who later messaged me that he couldn't wait to come home after a long day of work and sit on my lap ... thank goodness for the delete button!} and another guy from peshtigo {who was looking to get married in 2 - 3 years and told me that in his first message to me ... another delete} and then this guy {above} whose profile intrigued me the most {and i can't pinpoint the why, there was just something about him that drew me in} ... but there was no way i'd make the first move, so i just looked!  i almost deleted the plenty of fish account that i'd just created, before shutting down my computer, but figured it was harmless and i'd never hear from anyone anyway {remember, online dating sites don't work}!

little did i know that this guy, doing pushups in an ad for the gym he worked for, would get a notification that i'd "creeped" his profile ... eeeek!

had i known that, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't have slept that night, and i'm pretty sure that i would have deleted what i'd just created ...

needless to say, he did get notified that i'd looked at his profile ...

and i didn't delete my profile ... 

and that is just the beginning of the story!

stay tuned tomorrow if you are interested in hearing more of how it all unfolded!

{*i love to reminisce ... rick can't believe that i remember the details so vividly, and he's glad that i don't expect him to!} 

{life.IS.good}

oh.my.goodness!

my blogging certainly goes in spurts!

i'm so sorry! 

life has been been good, and busy and full of adventure ... 

just to recap the last month or so 

think of this as a photo flip book ... in words!

{in no particular order}

a quick weekend trip to georgia

trips to miller park to watch the brewers

mowing the lawn

rainy days

falling more in love with my husband

a bridal shower for my beautiful middle

2 of 3 girls headed to slovakia for a missions trip

working as a personal trainer again

mowing the lawn

bonfires

seeking God's call/leading in our lives

deep conversations with rick

summer 

our "baby" turning 18

selling our rental property

buying a new to me jeep{!}

seeing God move {in HUGE ways}

celebrating my "other" daughter's wedding

enjoying visits from the kids

leaning on God's wisdom, not my own

seeking God

morning coffee on the screen porch

mowing the lawn

snuggling pets {lots of them}

seeing our marriage grow & glow

lularoe

enjoying family

dreaming of things to come

mowing the lawn{!}

planning a get together for taya & justin

getting organized {& simplifying life}

soaking up vitamin d whenever possible

living, laughing, loving

working out

learning to "go with the flow" 

mowing the lawn 

{um, yes, that one has made the list more than once! we had 2 days in june with no rain, so needless to say, we have green grass, and lots of it ... if i could bottle rain and it would make hair and fingernails grow as fast and as well as the grass in my yard, i'd be on to something!}

aahhhhh

lest that list sound like "perfection" ... our life isn't perfect, but it surely is BLESSED!  

as i learn more and more to lean into God and to look for His hand in everything that comes my way {the things i view as good and those i view as "not so good"} life becomes better! 

i'm learning to "see" God in all things, large and small ... and when i view them that way, the good days are better, the "perfect" days are glorious and the tough days are bearable ... all because i know Who holds each moment, and not one thing that reaches me hasn't passed through His hands first!

go out today, enjoy your day, look for the good ... in the meantime, i think i'll go mow the lawn!