But, yesterday, the 5th of the month, 7 months since November 5, I can say this quote was fairly true! I realized that I did not mark every hour with the hours/moments of November 5. I was very aware of the date, but, I could/did cling more to good, happy, fun, 20 years of life memories as opposed to those horrific, life changing, earth shattering memories of November 5.
I can still easily "go there" if I let myself. A sight or a sound or a smell and I remember one minute detail and replay it over and over, until I realize what I'm doing and ask the Lord to help it stop!
I don't believe we will ever truly be free of the memories of that day, goodness, ask people, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot, Elvis died, Regan was shot, the Challenger exploded, Princess Diana died..." and people remember. We remember horrific life events of strangers, how would we not of our own loved ones? Yet, over time, God does ease the pain. He brings back the memories of good times, He reminds us that He is always there, sometimes even in the reminders of the "horrific".
That will always be a precious memory to me, that in the midst of it all, the confusion, the disbelief, the horror of it all, I clearly stated and believed with my whole being, "Daddy is in Heaven." That truth did not demand further explanation. It was fact. And it still is fact.
So, yesterday, I COULD remember his eyes and events we shared and laughter (oh, so much laughter!) before I remembered the details of November 5 ... All because God is good. God does love and heal and comfort and restore. Each day, good is remembered. Grace is offered. Lessons are learned. Each day is one day further from November 5, yes, but, each day is also one day CLOSER to Heaven!
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