This is another FAVORITE verse of mine!
But, until you are fully, truly, every second of every day hoping in the LORD, you don't really know how wonderfully HE will RENEW your STRENGTH!! How despite, or maybe in spite of your circumstances, you CAN soar on wings like EAGLES!! How you can RUN and not be WEARY and walk and not faint!
Today, I ran 6.33 miles (+ a little bit more - I turned my running program off a little before I was done by accident!) And I did it in an hour - those are less than 10 minute miles - sustained!! I even ran through the cemetery so I could tell Rick about it . . . I KNOW he's not really there, but it is the last resting place of his earthly body, there is a comfort in just knowing that he is there . . . I never used to like the cemetery, but now, it is a peaceful beautiful place - I felt really at peace running through it today. It's still really hard for me to grasp the fact that my biggest "fan" is not here for me! That is still one of my biggest "holes" . . . the not being somebody's priority. Not having someone who is always there, just for ME . . . Nobody to go out to eat with tonight, or go to the movies with, or sit home and do nothing with . . . it really is quite the adjustment. I very often feel like some people feel like I should be "getting over it" already, but really, how do you just "get over" 20 years of someone? How do you fill those empty spots? I KNOW that God IS always there, but as someone said to me, "God can't take you out to the Landing"! . . . Oh, so true. So sad, and so very true. I TRUST that God is my ALL in ALL, He is my STRENGTH when I am WEAK, He is the TREASURE that I SEEK . . . but HE created the institution of marriage, I believe HE knows the empty spot in my heart, and He reaches down, reminding me to look up and to HANG ON - His plans are higher than mine, He only asks me to TRUST and OBEY . . . for there really is no other way!
Today, God did RENEW my strength. I was having a not so good day and was throwing myself a pretty good pity party . . . BUT after my run, my mind was much clearer and I THOROUGHLY enjoyed my evening at home ALONE! I enjoyed the peace and quiet and even though a million things are clamoring for my attention, I did NOTHING!! It will all be there for me tomorrow!
Taya is having fun with her friend Linz at the concert in Lansing, Kajzi is (of course) having fun with Sarah working on a solar powered hot-dog cooker and Tessa called me a couple of times and it was really nice to talk to her. She is enjoying Chicago and her last BPA trip! The last call was to let me know that they made it to FINALS and will compete at 9:50 a.m. (CST) tomorrow! I will surely be praying for win number 13 tomorrow morning!!
"Come to me . . . Your life path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to Me for nurture. Let Me fill you up with My Presence. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to My Presence" ~ Jesus Calling
As I re-opened my devotional for today to add the portion above that really spoke to me this morning, I looked further down on the page to re-read the verses of the day . . . the second one was:
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, thew will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:29-31.
I did NOT remember that verse was in there from this morning - I had already chosen a picture above and written most of this post BEFORE looking again at today's devotional! THAT is NOT coincidence, THAT is a GOD THING, because, you know, my God, He is way cool like that! :)
Sheila, I used to hate cemeteries so badly that I wouldn't even look at them when we would pass one. Now I feel the same way you do. It is a place of comfort to me. It is the place where Bob's earthly body only rests now until the day that Jesus comes back for us and he comes up out of that grave to meet Him in the air. Aren't you glad we have HOPE!
ReplyDeleteLoneliness is the hardest part of being a widow. I have several blog posts about that on my blog. I do a lot of reading and find some things that speak to my heart. Those are things I like to share with other widows.
I understand what you are saying about the way that others who aren't widows can't understand all of the emotions that we continue to feel long after our husbands have "gone home". And you know, as much as I want them to understand, I wouldn't wish for them to have to go through what we are going through to "get it".
Amazing how our perspective changes when we are forced into it, isn't it Candy? I continue to trust that God will use all of these things for HIS glory in the days/weeks/months/years to come! I agree, that now, I see the cemetery as a HOPEfilled place!
DeleteI've enjoyed your posts about loneliness - seems you've had several lately and I have seen that it's a common thread - another of those that "binds" us together. Thankful for you today! ♥
You're right too, of course, I DON'T wish for anyone to be able to "get it" because then they'd be going through it . . . just sometimes, it would be so nice to be "gotten"! :)
I'm so glad to see that God reminded you of His goodness even when you were upset. I'm also glad you did nothing for a little while! And 6.33 miles, who would have thought it? What a huge accomplishment!
ReplyDeleteMark chose cremation, his ashes are still in my closet, 16 months later. I don't have a 'place' to grieve or be at peace. I took 1/2 of his ashed to his mom's last summer and we burried them on her property, I'm just not sure what to do with the rest. Sometimes though, I wish I had a cemetary or place to go and talk to him. I think my kids might think I had really lost it if they ever found me talking to a box in my closet!!!!
ReplyDelete