whatever the cost?

I think that most of us who profess to be Christians would "say" that this statement is true for us.  However, I KNOW for a fact that BEFORE November 5, I was not fully "on-board" with the thought. . . .

"Dear God, (o.k., that part's good, He's God, I know that, I believe that, no questions there!) . . . No matter what happens (well, we're still o.k., "God, whatever happens - I KNOW He's in control of EVERYTHING) . . . give me the heart that is willing to obey you (yep, we are STILL good . . . I want to OBEY Him, I've sung all the Sunday School songs, "Trust and obey, cuz there's NO OTHER way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey . . . I'm still in agreement!) . . . 

WHATEVER THE COST MAY BE.

Sure, I can do that!  I might lose my job, I might have money troubles, I might get sick, I might . . . I could have filled in lots of "I mights" that would fit in there, "whatever the cost may be", but, He would NEVER ask me to give up Rick.  He'd NEVER ask me to give up the life I've known for 20 years.  He'd NEVER ask me to be a single mom.  He'd NEVER leave my kids without their Daddy.

Would He?

HE is in control.

I'm NOT.

No matter WHAT happens.

Even if . . . 

Even if a Dr. says, I'm sorry . . . .

Even if my life is turned UPSIDE DOWN . . . 

Even if there are no answers this side of Heaven . . . 

Even if.

Whatever the cost may be.

HE paid the ultimate price.

HE sent his ONLY SON to die.

HE loved ME before I even existed.

So, what if my blessings come through raindrops . . . 

What if my healing comes through tears . . . 

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near?

What if the trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?

We learned this song at church sometime within the last year.

I didn't like this song.

I didn't want raindrops, I didn't want tears, I didn't want sleepless nights.  I didn't want trials.

But, God.

But, God had HIS plans for my life . . . 

"Dear Child . . . Whatever happens, will you have a heart that is willing to obey me, whatever the cost may be?"

Yes, Lord, I will obey.  No matter if it's hard.  No matter that I don't "get it".  No matter that I don't like it (at all).  I will choose, over and over and over to obey.  I will TRUST that your mercies CAN come through the trials in my life.

I'm again today SO THANKFUL that on that "fateful" day in the E.R., I was able to say, "Daddy is in HEAVEN" and that I was able to CHOOSE to believe it and to CHOOSE to trust, even when I couldn't see.

God HAS proven faithful.  I still don't "get it".  I still can't see "why".  But, I will continue to trust.  To trust that HE does have plans for my life, for our lives!

Today there was no school, so we went to Green Bay so that Tessa could get some things she needs for her upcoming trip to Grand Rapids.  

So Taya could get track shoes. 

So Kajsa could get shorts for our trip to Georgia.  

We had a good day!  

Tessa & her friends drove down in her car (a HUGE "letting go" for me - again!), Taya, Kajsa, Daisy (cousin) and I went down a little later and stayed a little longer.  

We shopped, we laughed, we ate, we had fun!  

Sprinkled throughout the day, I received Facebook messages, e-mails and text messages from friends.  Reminders of the love that God has gifted me with through the amazing people He brings into my life!  I heard from new friends, a very long time friend, and some of my "always there for me" friends! ♥  I don't know why I'm STILL amazed, but, I am still amazed at WHO God sends my way and WHEN!  It IS still amazing to me that I hear from just who I need to hear from, just when I need THAT person!  It's not always when I think I should hear from them, but it's EXACTLY when HE knows I need to hear from them!  (sorry, that was kind of rambling, but it's late, I'm tired and I can't think of a better way to word it!)

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstance; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18