deal.breakers ... and more

when rickey died {suddenly, unexpectedly}, we did not get the time to say good-bye at his bedside. there was not time for him to tell me his wishes and dreams for me and the girls for the future ... however, he and i had talked some about if we couldn't be together. he had told me during one of those talks, "if we couldn't be together, i'd want to help pick someone out for you, i don't want you to be alone."

so because of that, and because he and i had a pretty good marriage, i knew that i could move forward and keep living, even though part of me died with him that day.

i also knew, after being married to my best friend for almost 20 years that life WAS better when shared with someone you love ♥

so, it was after 20 years of being a "couple" i became a "single" and re-entered the scene of "getting to know someone" ... and at 46 years old that.is.scary!

... i promise to blog more about that someday, but for today ...

God did allow me the chance to "get to know someone", and that someone's name was rick {yep, you read that right, rick ... and there's more "similarities" but that's another blog post!}. 

before this rick and i met in person, we met online and shared 3,000+ Facebook messages, e-mails and texts {no, that is not a typo, yes, i said 3,000+ ... in less than a week!}

we hit on the "big" stuff, making sure that meeting was even a good idea ...

*married before?

*kids?

*grandkids?

*do you like the Packers {could have been a deal-breaker}?

*political views?

and the biggie ...

*do you have personal relationship with Jesus Christ - tell me about it!

after those "deal-breaker" questions, came others {still potentially deal-breakers}, including ...

*do you drink, smoke, do drugs?

{if you know me, or have read and remember - i was kind of raised in a "bubble" ... those things were all big no-no's!}

rick's answer of "i have" to that question was difficult for me, because "i haven't"!

conversation continued and he told me about his battle with addiction to alcohol, and his first attempt at becoming sober and then his second {which different from the first time, included AA and, more importantly, Christ!}

God moved in my heart, and for some reason this did not scare me away, it actually made me more intrigued about who this man was ...

his addiction and recovery has been something he has shared with very few, though he and i talk of it fairly often, always remembering the date and reason his sobriety began.

fast forward to yesterday.

february 11.

rick's sobriety date.

8 years ago.

but this year, he shared his journey. on facebook.

for everyone to see.

in the hopes it might help someone else.

i'm proud of him for sharing.

when you lay something like that out for the world to see, you risk.

you risk reactions, you risk responses, you risk respect, you become someone you weren't before you hit "publish" on that post. 

but, he took the risk, with the prayer that it may help just one person who may be struggling themselves with an addiction.

here is what rick posted on his facebook page yesterday:

"8 years ago yesterday I received a phone call from my oldest son that should have made me a very happy New Grampy! To make things clear, I absolutely LOVE my granddaughter! However when I got that call I had also just became the ONE thing I NEVER wanted to be. I had recently returned from military deployment, unemployed for months, struggling in and out of a relationship and now to put the icing on the cake... I AM a single, drunk Grampa going home to his empty apartment and six pack of beer (and bottle of Vodka)... 

Only by God's grace am I sober now for 8 years! I thank God for putting the right people in my life to help me along. I offer amends where I can and have an amazing, growing relationship with The Living God! 

I put this out here if anyone ever wants to talk.

An Absolutely HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me, thank you Lord!"