i was SO HAPPY that the scale had finally dipped below 3 digits when i weighed myself

{i believe my lowest weight was 97 pounds - i'm 5'2" tall}. 

and weigh myself i did. 

first thing in the morning, i stepped on the scale. 

that determined what {or if} i ate for lunch that day. 

breakfast was not in my vocabulary.

when i got home from work, i weighed myself. 

{i probably would have weighed myself at work if there was a scale there} 

that determined how long of a run i should go on. 

after my run, i weighed myself to see what {or if} i should eat for supper.

and sometimes for good measure,

i'd weigh myself after i took a bath and before i went to bed.

i.was.obsessed.

i.was.totally.unhealthy.

i.was.bordering.on.anorexic.

i.was.a.control.freak. and the ONE thing i could control was my weight.

when i met rick in 2012, i was still recovering from losing rickey and one of the few things i could control in my life was what i ate {or didn't eat} and how much i exercised {ran}.

i have been aware of my weight for as long as i can remember.

weighing too much

and

weighing not enough.

it's always been a struggle.

it got worse after having babies and worse yet after Rickey died.

if there was a "get thin quick" plan out there, i was willing to try it!

i do believe psalm 139:16

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them."

i believe that God allowed rick to enter my life at a very crucial time.

before he became my boyfriend {that sounds funny at 45 years old!} and then my husband, he was my friend.

and he was a personal {fitness} trainer.

i was a personal {fitness} trainer's worst nightmare. 

i was "skinny fat" and had horrible fitness/nutrition habits!

i was headed for {health/wellness} trouble real soon if something didn't change.

one of our first conversations in person was about healthy eating

{do you think he could see something i couldn't see?!}

i was willing to try some of the things he mentioned

{like eating cleaner and adding weight training to my routine} 

but i PANICKED when the scale started to move .... upward!

fast forward to today.

i may not weigh exactly what i wish i did but i'm healthy.

we exercise on a regular basis.

i gave up my diet mountain dew {gasp!}

i don't step on the scale 3 or 4 times a day.

we eat mostly whole, single ingredient foods.

our sugar intake is almost non-existent.

and i feel better than i have in years!

God gave me this body.

it is my job to take care of it.

i'm much more at peace and "comfortable in my own skin"

i know that most of the time what goes into my body is good for it, God made not man made nutrition.

i know that i may not have 6 pack abs or be able to run a 5K in record time, but i can get up and move and participate in life.

i know that every waking thought is not about food.

i know that i have found peace ... and that peace comes from good choices and from realizing that the hunger i had,  whether it was for food or for being "thin enough" was really a hunger for God.  i've let Him fill that spot in my life and i can honestly say with lysa terkeurst, i want to be healthy, but my real goal isn't a number on a scale, it's peace.

where is your peace?

are you healthy?

do you "get" it?

take time today to assess where you are at, and then let God take control of ALL of it ... that is a decision you'll NEVER regret!

if you're struggling with getting control of your weight, your nutrition, and/or your exercise goals and you live near us, we'd love to have you join us for our fitness challenge march 1 - may 31 ... contact me for more information!