"Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and beats you up. But there's one day you realize you're not just a survivor. You're a fighter! You're tougher than anything life throws your way. . . ."
As I was deciding "what" to write tonight, I was looking at Facebook and my sweet friend from my childhood (she was even my babysitter!), Sandi posted the above picture & quote to my timeline. Sandi is also a "too-young" widow, so in addition to all our growing up memories, we have that in common as well - and I LOVE her to pieces! ♥
I'd like to add to the quote above though, that yes, "life" DID "kick me around" . . . it did scare me and I sure feel beat up. I also am not just a "survivor", but a fighter . . . but, there-in lies what this quote missed . . . I {alone} am not a survivor or a fighter, I am not tough in any way, shape or form . . . but . . .
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH!!!!! :)
So, WITH HIM, yes, I am tougher than anything that "life" throws my way.
It's funny that leading into that, my thoughts have been swirling lately and for a couple of days, I have been "stewing" over something . . . you know that feeling?? I promised you early on that it wouldn't always be pretty when I write, so, here goes nothing . . .
There are some people, people who I consider "close" to me who have seemed to "ignore" me these past 3+ months. Someone told me that maybe it's because it's "too hard for them" . . . Really? Seriously? It's too hard for "them"? Huh? Too HARD for THEM? . . . . ummmmm, I'll tell you about hard . . . how about dealing with life insurance claims, and lawyers, and taxes and keeping up a household - all by yourself . . . how about getting bills over and over and over that SHOULD have been taken care of MONTHS ago, but somehow, someone "forgot" to input the correct information, so the bill keeps coming, asking "Mr. Rickey Rye" to please take care of this matter (thanks to my SWEET friend Renee, this matter HAS been resolved, I THINK!) . . . how about looking at your beautiful children, and grandbabies, cherishing EVERY SINGLE moment with them, wishing their DADDY/PAPA was right here with you watching them . . .
seeing me is "too hard for them" . . . really . . . w.o.w.!
Whew, I can't believe I really put that on here, but, I'm going to leave it, sometimes you just have to VENT . . . sorry if I offended anyone . . .
Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.....!!
I found this AMAZING picture and the quote that follows today . . . and how NEAT that it talks of a "journey" and a "new normal" . . . as if I needed ANOTHER reminder of God's hand in EVERY SINGLE DETAIL!!
Grief is a journey on a road you didn't ask to be on . . . going to a place you never wanted to go . . . the good news is you are not alone . . . the LORD is your Companion and Guide. When you grow too weary, He will carry you. He will make sure that nothing overtakes you as you walk through the dark valley and He will be with you as you emerge into the light of a new normal.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts . . . Colossians 3:15
I appreciate your honesty! No need to apologize for things you are going through. I pray you have a great support system and that God sends you the encouragement you need!
ReplyDeleteOh Sheila, I am so sorry that this is still continuing to happen. I know many people who don't know what to say when someone passes away. Well I think they need to look within, and know that none of us are exempt from death. As you know, you continue to impress me. However, that does not stop you from going through the red tape of life. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head with your "venting" Sheila. I've been through that as well -- it feels like "I" stopped existing to them too. It's so very, very painful. Thankfully you are loved, appreciated and surrounded with SO many other family members and friends that WILL stand with you, even through the "ugly" days. Yes, someone may feel a bit awkward at first -- not knowing what to say or what NOT to say. BUT, being invisible or silent to us is so much worse and hurtful than they can even imagine. I guess we need to sweetly educate them to just say "I'm sorry for your loss". That says it all.
ReplyDeleteYou're an amazing woman of God and I'm so proud of you! Much love sent to you from one widow to another...
Who'd have EVER GUESSED all those years ago as we lived our carefree teen years just 1/2 mile from each other that we'd be here today? God surely does work in mysterious ways, and through it all, I'm so thankful that YOU are a part of this crazy, roller-coaster life that I'm living! :) ♥ I love you Sandi!
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