...Christ Jesus, our HOPE!

Well, then, it's Saturday again.  Another week has passed.  We have again arrived at this day that I now hold a LOVE/HATE relationship with.  I LOVE it for the fact that it means sleeping in (until almost 7:30 today!), not having a schedule, being with the girls . . . ./HATE . . . well, that's probably a little harsh, but it goes with the saying "Love/Hate relationship" so I used it. Though I don't "hate" Saturday, I found myself, again this morning with that familiar "jittery" feeling.  It is so very hard to explain.  I look at the clock and remember "what" was going on, now 6 weeks ago, "right now".  And as my mind wanders back there, I also think of all the dear people who were "involved" in that day.  I think of the guys Rick was working with, the EMT's who were the first responders, the law enforcement personnel who responded....in a town as small as ours, it's impossible to "dis-connect" any of the dots.  Today, I was wondering if they, as I, re-run the events of that morning through their minds.  Our dear family friend, and State Trooper, Mike was the one who had to come to us at home, and then at the hospital.  The one who went to our parents, and siblings.  The one who talked hunting with Rick.  The one who went fishing with Rick.  The one who stayed professional that day, because he was in uniform, but I know, felt like falling apart.  I hurt for all of us. I pray for each of those who played key roles in that day and each and every one will hold a special place in my heart forever.


So, as the morning goes on, and the girls and I go about our quick shopping trip, I check the clock (not as in clock watching, just check it when I jump back in the vehicle, or check a new text on my phone - I don't even wear a watch!)  As I check, I remember . . . and then, time passes, we are past those awful moments of Mike coming to the house, and walking in to the E.R. . . . and just as in weeks past, my heart calms...just like clockwork.  Once I get "past" the point when I know that Rick met Jesus, my day can again become "just" Saturday.  Again, it's not something that is easy to explain - or possibly can't be explained, it's just a peace that washes over me, a gentle reminder from the Lord, that though our lives as we knew them changed in that instant on that Saturday morning, so did Rick's, but his "change" was even more INSTANT than ours and was more glorious than we can imagine!


Before I got out of bed this morning, my devo read in part, "Come to me with your gaping emptiness, knowing that in Me you are complete. . . . facing the emptiness inside you is simply the prelude to being filled with My fullness.  Therefore, rejoice on those days when you drag yourself out of bed, feeling sluggish and inadequate.  Tell yourself that THIS IS A PERFECT DAY TO DEPEND ON ME IN CHILDLIKE TRUST.  If you persevere in this dependence as you go through the day, you will discover at bedtime that Joy and Peace have become your companions!"  That is the PERFECT thing to read on this, another Saturday, maybe I'll copy it and read it EVERY Saturday!  Because, I can say that I did look to the Lord today, with my gaping emptiness (my BEST FRIEND is gone), but I did TRUST that in HIM, I am complete.  I did ask and then allowed HIM to fill me.  I didn't totally have to "drag" myself out of bed, but I did have to CHOOSE to depend on HIM with childlike trust.  And, guess, what?  Here I am at bedtime and Joy and Peace are my companions!


Tonight we went Christmas caroling with a group from church and it was so fun!  We got to "shower" a new family in town with some Christmas gifts, and we got to visit and sing to some people who are especially dear to me (Gramma & Papa Rye, Uncle Gordy & Aunt Ev and "Funny Gramma"!).  We had a good time.  I enjoyed looking across the room and seeing the girls, by their friends and the little ones from church who they love so much, singing from their hearts, with smiles on their faces.  Though this Christmas will NOT be what we thought it would be, we will still choose to celebrate Christ's birth, for without this "Most Wonderful Time of the Year", we could not live in the HOPE that we have!  After caroling, a couple of us girls (thanks Donna & Bobbi - it was so much fun doing something so "normal" I LOVE YOU GIRLS) made a quick trip into town, got A&W root-beer floats and looked at all the pretty Christmas lights!  When I got home, I had a sweet Facebook message from a girl who I actually used to babysit (though we are only about 2 years difference in age!).  She probably has no idea how much she blessed me, but, let me tell you, it was a sweet message, another one of those that I cherish, because it's ANOTHER reminder of God's constant hand in my life!


So, another SATURDAY.  Another day.  Another chance to CHOOSE.  To CHOOSE to follow God, trust in HIS plan for my life.  To bring my emptiness to HIM and allow HIM to fill me.  To pray that I can be the best mommy to my girls.  To continue to serve HIM.  To do "normal" things, even when they don't feel "normal" anymore.  To REST in HIM who is our HOPE.  To discover that by trusting, bringing, praying, serving, resting, that I can come to bedtime and say that I am filled with Joy and Peace - they really have (again) become my companions.  And because of this, tonight, I could sing:

We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

and a Happy New Year!

And, I can relate to the verse from 1 Timothy 1:1

...CHRIST JESUS, OUR HOPE!