12/5/11

12.5.2011.....1 month

... last night, I went to bed VERY AWARE that when I woke up, it would be the 5th of the month ... seems impossible that it's already been a month, but here we were on the eve of that date last night and I wondered how I would "feel" getting there, to that 1 month mark ...  sounds kind of strange probably, but that's the best way to explain the feelings, thoughts, emotions bouncing around in my head as I drifted off to sleep last night.


I drifted off to a very restful sleep and awoke before the alarm sounded and then actually drifted off again until the alarm slowly brought me from the land of sleep to the awareness of a new day dawning.  I got up, showered and started getting ready before it actually "hit" me what day it was . . . a reminder of the Lord watching over me as my day began - I didn't wake up in a panic or with disturbing images bouncing around in my mind.


Upon arriving at work, the day began with a "bang" as oftentimes Mondays do when you work in a school!  With seemingly 100's of things needing my attention, I switched into "work" mode quickly and busied myself with the tasks of the day.  About mid-morning, something was said to me that "bothered" me, and I "stewed" over it for quite awhile, letting it take root and to start to over shadow my day with the bad mood I was allowing to invade my peace.  I began to have a pity party, "doesn't that person KNOW what day it is, did they really have to say that to me TODAY?" and on and on I went . . . I was MAD, and I had a RIGHT to be mad (or so I was convincing myself)!  But, did I, really?  Was it really right of me to react the way I did?  No, it wasn't.   MY life is my life, though different than I expected and not at all what I had planned.  But really, to expect everyone around me to feel the feelings I'm feeling, realize what day it is, and "cater" to me is just not the way to live!  I have awesome co-workers who have been a huge source of support for me, so I quickly (well, not as quickly as I should have, actually) gave it over to the Lord, and moved on with my day - a day that ended much better than it would have if I had kept holding on to my anger.  A lesson that Rick certainly taught me (remember, you could step on his tongue and he wouldn't get mad at you!).  So on this "anniversary" that I was dreading, there was my dear Rickey gently reminding me of WHAT is important and what isn't . . . :)  Ah, that was a comfort!


Tonight was the first J.V./Varsity boys basketball game - Taya's first game to cheer for the J.V. team, and Tessa does stats for the Varsity team, so we all stayed after school for the game (Tessa had to work first and Kajzi had cheer practice) . . . Our Eagles played our neighbors to the North, the North Central Jets which happens to be the school my cousin's kids attend, so it was a "family reunion" night! :)  I LOVE my "up north" family and wish I had the opportunity to spend more time with them!  Taya & Kajsa actually spent a week with my cousin Daniel's daughter Sarah at Bible camp in June - they didn't really "know" each other before then - and they have become fast friends!  Sarah has been an immense sense of encouragement and support to the girls this past month - another of God's blessings - He brought Sarah into their lives this summer and they have an extended support system that they wouldn't have had a year ago!  I had the chance to talk to"the boys " Bob, Dave, Daniel & their wives and Faye (their sister - I actually get to see her husband every day as he is a teacher at our school!) . . . ♥  They are all such a blessing and encouragement to me - I'm thankful for them in my life! :)


When I got home tonight and we "settled in" (which is hard to do after coming home from an intense basketball game - which in case you want to know, we ended up losing - but not after a hard fought battle!), I pulled out my devotional.  Portions of it read, Let My Presence override everything you experience . . . I am training you to stay conscious of Me in each situation you encounter . . .ask Me to give you awareness of My Presence.  This is a prayer that I delight to answer.  Well, that was perfect to end today, the 1 month anniversary that I never wanted to have to mark, LET MY PRESENCE OVERRIDE EVERYTHING YOU EXPERIENCE - yes, that is it, the PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING . . . letting Him override EVERYTHING I experience, asking HIM to give me an AWARENESS of his presence . . . and it's a prayer He DELIGHTS to answer - and He does answer, He does give an awareness of His presence . . . from the little things like an irritation with a co-worker, to the BIG things, like marking the 1 month anniversary of the loss of my best friend.  He makes His presence known, if only I will be STILL and listen for Him.  He makes it possible to put one foot in front of the other, to face each new day with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  He continues to give strength for each day, if only I remember to let His Presence override everything I experience!  So, today, on this "anniversary" of sorts, I will continue to TRUST in His love for us.  I will rest in Him as I lay my head down to sleep tonight.  I will pray that I will let His Presence override EVERY experience that I face (and every thought that wanders through my mind - sometimes threatening to overtake my "sanity").  I will CHOOSE again this day whom I will serve!!


...choose you this day whom ye will serve . . . but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD"  Joshua 24:15

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if you have followed my blog at all you know that my heart has always been to share God's grace in the midst of human tragedy ... or wh...