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Showing posts from January, 2012

good stuff!

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... today was filled with "good stuff".  By "good stuff", I'm meaning that GOD put SO MANY good thoughts in front of me that there are really TOO MANY to write about in one sitting - really they were THAT good!!


It started with "Jesus Calling" . . . "I am your Strength and Shield.  I plan out each day and have it ready for you, long before you arise from bed.  I also provide the strength you need each step of the way . . . I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go."  I PLAN OUT EACH DAY AND HAVE IT READY FOR YOU . . . long before you arise from bed!  That is amazing and comforting.  I have NOTHING to fear in the future because, as I've said before - HE is already there!  Of course, "where" He has gone before may not be where I'd CHOOSE to go, but if I'm following HIM, I will trust HIS choosing!
When the girls were little and I was an "at home mom", I faithfully attended "MOM's" group wh…

He cares about EVERYTHING!

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Late night, short post, posting as I walk on the treadmill actually....I am a multi-tasker!!!
I love the thought in the quote I posted! Tonight as I was struggling to get the W-2 forms ready for Township employees (yes, I know tomorrow is the deadline!), I could not get the software program (new one this year because I waited TOO LONG and couldn't get the same one as last year - ugh!) I bought to work. I prayed (a very desperate and impatient) PLEASE GOD and suddenly the answer to the question I had been searching for was RIGHT THERE in front of me! So even in my procrastination and impatience, HE reaches down in tender loving-kindness and rescues me yet again!
Ah, how I LOVE Him!!


There is NO SINGLE aspect of my life that HE is NOT concerned about!  He DOES care for me!  And if HE cares in things that are even my fault, and HE steps in and HELPS me, how much more then, in the BIG things?!


Today, I have a sick girl - no fun - for me or for her.  I came home at noon to be with her and…

Bring every thought captive....

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"Let the goal of this day be to bring every thought captive to Me" ... Jesus Calling

What a great reminder! Especially when I am feeling overwhelmed... Due to my own procrastination, in most part! Posts this week will be short, or missing as I play catch up to Township work as well as surviving "Spirit Week" at school!

Also attempting this post through the Blogger app on my iPad...not sure how it'll work, so keeping it short!!!!

Even in my frazzled state, GOD still reigns! :)

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You!" Isaiah 26:3

...the most beautiful thing.... ♥

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"Sometimes the most beautiful thing is precisely the one that comes unexpectedly and unearned." - Anna Freud
This is EXACTLY what I woke up to this morning!!  My sweet friend sent me a text message that read, "  Good morning my friend!  Just wanted you to know I'm praying for you on this Saturday.  That you are covered & hugged by the loving arms of our Creator!  Love you & have a great day!"  Before I could respond, she sent me ANOTHER text which read, "I'm such a bonehead**!  I just plowed ahead by TELLING you I was praying for you not ASKING you what YOU need in prayer!  I'm really sorry!  HOW can I pray FOR YOU today?  WHAT is it that you would like me to pray for you in the precious name of Jesus Christ?"  I'm working at being more "transparent", so I answered, "Since you asked, I'll go out of my comfort zone and tell you I'm feeling lonely .... Not desperately, just sad lonesome."  Her next text rea…

t.o.d.a.y.

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{disclaimer . . . long, rambling post to follow!}

Today…
Today I’m feeling lonesome. Today I’m thankful for ♥ friends ♥ and laughter.
Today, I’m thinking about how the last 12 weeks have changed our lives.
Today, I’m thankful that GOD has held on to me TIGHTLY for the last 12 weeks.
Today,  I’m really missing my RICKEY . . . missing those things that you “just know” about someone after 20 years together.  Missing the private jokes that only he and I understood.  Missing him being a text away during the day.  Missing him watching the Hunting Channel as I surf the net before bedtime.  Missing life as I knew it for the last 20 years . . . .
Today, I’m TRUSTING in the LORD with ALL MY HEART, for today, I can’t lean on my own understanding, because, I really don’t understand!  
Sometimes, it’s hard to know WHAT to say here.  I do not write because I want pity.  I do not write to draw attention.  I do not write to make others feel bad . . . .
. . . . Yet, I still come to write each evening  -  or …

♥ b.l.e.s.s.i.n.g.s. ♥

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"...It is possible to enjoy Me and glorify Me in the midst of adverse circumstances.  In fact, My Light shines most brightly through believers who trust Me in the dark.  That kind of trust is supernatural;  a production of My indweling Spirit.  When things seem all wrong, trust Me anyway." ...Jesus Calling
Today was another "normal" day.  I have nothing profound to say, except that GOD IS SO GOOD!  I had the blessing of my sister I never had {a.k.a. Donna Kay!} calling and telling me she was stopping to pick up lunch and coming to eat with me {baked potato soup from MUM's!}!  I had the blessing of a sweet message on Facebook from my new friend, Leah ♥ who I believe God very intentionally brought into my life!  I had another text from an out of town friend reminding me that she is praying for us daily ♥.  

Little blessings.  
Each of them put together to make a good day!  
God in human form!  
God's reminders that "when things seem all wrong, trust ME anyway&…
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I've mentioned before the image (word picture) I have of reaching out and holding HIS hand and how GOD leads me - ONE STEP AT A TIME . . . today's devo ended with "Hold My hand in childlike trust, and the way before you will open up step by step."
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward You will take me into glory."  Psalm 73:23-24
I really could end right there especially with the last part of that verse, "afterward you will take me into glory"!  What a promise to hang on to.  
In my reading in the past couple of months, I've come across the "thought" that with each day that passes I'm one day FROM the last time that I saw Rick, yet with each day that passes, I'm one day CLOSER to Heaven (and seeing Rick again) ♥ well, alrighty then, I can live with that.  Do I still miss Rick desperately?  Yes.  Do the "oddest" things make me lonesome for him?  Yes.  Do …

....Spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials...adverse circumstances are normal in a fallen world...expect them each day...rejoice in the face of hardship, for I have overcome the world!
That was part of my devo this morning.  I love waking up and reading God's promises to ME!  And I like that it is plain as you read through the Bible that we WILL face trials here on earth.  But, we KNOW the one who has OVERCOME all!
Today was another good day.  It was back to school/work.  First day of the 3rd quarter/2nd semester.  So much to do, especially after a day off yesterday!  The day pretty much flew by.  Other than the usual busy-ness of work, it was a fairly "normal" day again.  Those are coming more often.  That is good!
I have nothing MAJOR to share, except that tonight, I'm SO THANKFUL for Rick's family!  His brothers & sister-in-laws have been so good to me! Last night I Facebook "chatted" with one of them, and on the way home from getting groceries…
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I really like this quote . . . and knowing that it was as true on November 4 as it is today makes me like it even more!  Even then, I didn't have to fear the "tomorrow" with its life changing events, because GOD was already there.  He was already in my tomorrow.  He had already gone before ma.  He can and does see into the future, He knows what He is doing, and He doesn't make mistakes.   What a comfort that is to me.
This morning, my devo said:  My strength and power show themselves most effective in your weakness.  That has been so true, yet, it is sad too.  Sad that we don't recognize God's strength and power as much when things are good and rosy.  Sad that I didn't rely on HIM nearly as much on November 4 as I have since November 5.  I'm praying that I can always see His power and strength.  I am thankful though, that He is effective in my weakness!
Today was the first "snow" day (ice actually) of the year.  It was nice to just be home.  W…

...NEVER ALONE! ♥

Today brought us another Sunday.  Another day that I got to “be” Rickey at church.  For the most part, that’s a good thing – it’s fun to greet the same people that Rick faithfully greeted every Sunday!  I LOVE to hear their memories of Rick being at that front door each week!  For being a “quiet” guy, he sure touched a lot of lives!
  My Aunt & Uncle brought us a “goodie” box of freezer foods – easy stuff for us to thaw and heat and/or eat when we want/need it – coffee cake, bread, home-made jam & applesauce, a pie, pasties . . . J  What a nice treat!  A really good family friend "greeted" and handed out bulletins with me.  He (again) pulled me aside, asking how I was doing and reminded me (again) to call if there is ANYTHING we need!  And, I promised him that I would.  He & his wife are so awesome - and they are just the people who I KNOW without a doubt would be here in a MINUTE if I called on them!  What a blessing friends like that are!  It goes beyond the sur…
(:    ♥    :) Today was again a Saturday. I am ready for bed and can say it was a GOOD day. It was actually a VERY GOOD day!  The memories still come - in waves - but the waves aren't as big.  They don't threaten to take me under as easily.  I'm quicker to reach out to GOD and let HIM calm the storm that rages. I am learning.  I am learning to lean on HIM for each moment.  And, HE gives peace!
He has blessed me so richly.  I have the greatest kids (and their friends) ever!  (o.k., I KNOW I'm biased, but really, they are great kids!)  I have enjoyed today just "being" with them, laughing and teasing and attending a concert.  Being silly and "normal" and living and laughing and loving . . . TOGETHER! ♥
This morning, my "Jesus Calling" devo contained these thoughts:
Your security rests in Me alone-not in other people, not in circumstances.  Depending only on Me may feel like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath;  the everlast…

...marking time....

I've mentioned it before, yet, it's still true.  I find myself marking time in relationship to life before Rick's accident and life after.  That's probably normal, after all, isn't that where we get our modern system of tracking time?  Isn't that how we got here, to the year 2012 - 2000 + years since Christ lived on the earth?  So, I guess my manner of "counting" time isn't so very unusual after all!
Today it was the last day of the 2nd marking period at school. The end of the first semester.  Monumental for Taya as the last 2 days found her taking final exams for the first time in her high school career. Monumental for Tessa as with the end of this semester, she has only ONE semester left in her career as a high school student.  Monumental to me because the last day of the 1st marking period was November 4.  Otherwise known as the "day before".  The "day before" life as I knew it changed forever.  The "day before" I h…

:)

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:) . . . that kind of sums up my day!  It was a stressful day . . . after a night of not sleeping very well and lots of questions about the Liberia trip, it still ended up to be a good day!  I read an awesome post HERE.  I'm exhausted after my lack of sleep last night, so you can just click on the "HERE" above and read it for yourself. The basic idea was that we have to be good stewards of what God has given us, and in the case of the blogger mentioned above, and myself, right now, that means being a good steward of being a widow . . . hhhmmm  VERY thought provoking!  And proof, YET AGAIN, that yes, EVERY SECOND, he LOVES me!
After reading the blog post on "stewardship", a sweet friend came in to work and was telling me about the word study she just did about being in the "valley" and she wanted to share some of it with me . . . and, trust me, it was GOOD STUFF!! :)  I plan to do some more study on my own and will report back here with what I discover!
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I "stole" this from a friend's facebook page.  It is so true . . . daily I am becoming STRONGER - in the LORD!  I cannot believe that I can say I am still standing today - I'd NEVER have believed that I could have survived the loss of Rick if I'd been able to have a "crystal ball" to see into the future (and thank goodness I didn't).  At the end of each day, I'm amazed to see how the Lord has brought me through.  On my desk at work, I have a picture of my Mom, Kajsa, Taya and me at the first basketball game Kajzi cheered at - on November 16.  When I look at that picture, I REMEMBER how "raw" I felt that night.  I remember that I felt at "peace", but still so raw.  I remember sitting at the game, wondering how I was supposed to act.  Did people who didn't know me know?  Did it show that I was a "widow"?  I still have those moments of feeling raw.  I still have that feeling of peace that only comes from the Lord. …
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Well, then, tonight, this about says it all!
Prayer changes everything.  Not that it will bring Rick back - but prayer will change my outlook - it will bring me to the Lord and keep my focus on HIM, where it belongs!
Don't be ANXIOUS, Pray instead.  A reminder I need OFTEN . . . though, less lately (the anxious part I mean is less - not the prayer part)!  I have come to the full realization that I'M NOT in control (quite the realization for a "control freak") . . . to the point that when my girls are talking about going to LIBERIA on a mission's trip, I'm trying to be encouraging - asking them the pro's and con's - trying to look at it from God's point of view, not MOM's!!  Before Rick's accident, I had said to them (and to Rick), you (the girls) are NOT going, Liberia is dangerous - but then, we learned, so is a roof-top in Wallace, isn't it?
If God is for us, who can be against us? That means even DEATH cannot be "against" us …
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Monday . . . a new week (work/school week that is!).  And, today was a good day.  A fairly quiet day.  Work was BUSY, but uneventful.  In a school, uneventful is always good!  After school was a basketball game.  Taya cheered.  Tessa did stats.  I filmed the game.  We won.  J.V. and Varsity! :)  It was a good day!
At the basketball game I saw a friend I haven't seen in awhile.  She asked how we were doing.  She told me how our Christmas card has spoken to SO MANY people (she also works at our orthodontist's office - we sent them our card - if you missed it, you can see it and the message I enclosed HERE!).  My Pastor's wife, and good friend Bobbi, commented recently about how I responded in the hospital - that my first words to the girls were, "Daddy is in HEAVEN", when the Dr. and nurse expected me to be falling apart.  I WAS falling apart on the inside, and still do, many times a day, yet, I still fully know that the falling apart is for me, the kids, our friend…