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Showing posts from February, 2016
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i was SO HAPPY that the scale had finally dipped below 3 digits when i weighed myself
{i believe my lowest weight was 97 pounds - i'm 5'2" tall}
and weigh myself i did. 
first thing in the morning, i stepped on the scale.  that determined what {or if} i ate for lunch that day. 
breakfast was not in my vocabulary.
when i got home from work, i weighed myself. 
{i probably would have weighed myself at work if there was a scale there}
that determined how long of a run i should go on. 
after my run, i weighed myself to see what {or if} i should eat for supper.
and sometimes for good measure, i'd weigh myself after i took a bath and before i went to bed.
i.was.obsessed.
i.was.totally.unhealthy.
i.was.bordering.on.anorexic.
i.was.a.control.freak. and the ONE thing i could control was my weight.
when i met rick in 2012, i was still recovering from losing rickey and one of the few things i could control in my life was what i ate {or didn't eat} and how much i exercised {ran}.

i have been…

{don't.blink}

"don't blink" he said as i walked into the house and we hugged tightly, no words spoken, because there were no words to say.
don't.blink.
from the time they were babies ...
don't blink, your infant will be a toddler don't blink, your toddler will be a pre-schooler don't blink, your pre-schooler will be in middle-school don't blink, your middle-schooler will have her driver's license don't blink...
life moves faster every year, don't blink.
just yesterday, a friend told me her daughter was turning 9 soon, "don't blink, I said, my baby has her driver's license" 
within an hour of me saying those words to my friend, they were said to me ...
"don't blink" he said as i walked into the house and we hugged tightly, no words spoken, because there were no words to say.
this time, the admonition was the reminder to hold those you love closely. love those you have, while you still have them. don't blink, because in the blink of…

{i.still.have.much.to.learn}

"dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way..."  james 1:2
"so after you have suffered a little while..." 1 peter 5:10
i'm currently reading jen hatmaker's "interrupted" and in it she says
 "likewise, i still can't believe it, but i managed to attend church three times a week as a fetus ... observe every form and function of church, get swallowed whole by Christian subculture ... and misunderstand the main point.  i am still stunned by my capacity to spin Scripture, see what i wanted, ignore what i didn't, and use the Word to defend my life rather than define it.  i now reread treasured, even memorized Scriptures and realize i never understood what they really meant."
well.then.
i can relate to that!
i can really relate to jen's statement
"i am still stunned by my capacity to spin Scripture, see what i wanted, ignore what i didn't, and use the Word to defend my life rather than define it." 
and i…

{just.relax.you.try.too.hard}

just.relax
you.try.too.hard
have you ever heard those words?
i have.
and they are true.
i'm probably pretty much your "textbook" first born, type "a" personality.
to be classified in one of the 4 "personality types" i most relate to 
Sanguine In a nutshell... Sanguine people are boisterous, bubbly, chatty, openly emotional, social extroverts.
 yep, that's pretty much me.   and and in most circumstances, that is not a bad thing. however, sometimes in interpersonal relationships, it's a huge downfall.   because i can tend to be boisterous, chatty, openly emotional and extroverted i can sometimes be too much for others and i let my emotions take over rational thought {have you ever done that?}.   if someone else is not {in my eyes} equally as boisterous, chatty, emotional and extroverted as i, automatically i think there has to be something wrong ... and i'm quick to question it {and want to fix it}.  i'm not the best at accepting that others may jus…

♥you.are.loved.♥

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life.isn't.always.easy.
on any given day on facebook, i read of
*a young friend who had a stroke
*friends whose child is battling cancer
*a friend going through a divorce
*someone struggling after the death of a loved one
and much, much more that is not posted and shared.
*the spouse who feels unloved
*the child who feels neglected
*the friend who feels left out
*the one who is lonely, afraid, discouraged, depressed and hopeless
friend, if that is you today...
RUN.TO.JESUS!
He is the only one that can fill that aching emptiness inside of you!
please know that if you are reading this today, you are here for a reason.
you are loved.
i love you.
Jesus loves you.
and ... you were prayed for today!
i may not know you by name.
i may not know what burden you are facing today that seems overwhelming, but i prayed for you before posting this morning ...
here is my prayer for you,
"dear Lord, you know who You will lead to read this post today. i pray that as they read, they will feel loved by You. i pray th…

{life.according.to.facebook}

do you ever wonder if life is really what it looks like on facebook?
you know what i mean!
you've got those friends who only post the "woe is me" posts  {they are tired, they are sick, they don't have enough money, their car broke down ...}
or there are those who always post the cryptic posts  {sure could use prayer today, sometimes people should just mind their own business, so happy i could just burst ...}
 or those who are perpetually happy {my honey brought me flowers AGAIN today, my kids are just the most amazing, i love my job ...}
hhhmmmm... 
are they really always tired, sick and broke?
are they always mysterious?
is life really always perfect?
no.
no.
no.
at least that's my guess!
my guess is that for most of us ... life falls somewhere in between the "woe is me" and "perpetually happy" most.of.the.time!
i post this because when rick & i shared some friction in our marriage to some friends recently, they responded that everything always looks so p…

baby.it's.cold!

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i'm not sure where you live but here in the u.p. it's cold today! as in -6° cold! if I didn't have to go out, i wouldn't! however, life doesn't stop here just because the temperature takes a dive! this morning I'm helping to decorate for a valentine's day potluck at church. we woke up this morning to our furnace not working properly ... it has been giving us problems for a few months now ... praying we get it going soon, and inexpensively! stay warm today and if you're here with my KEEP contest, I hope you'll read again soon!

deal.breakers ... and more

when rickey died {suddenly, unexpectedly}, we did not get the time to say good-bye at his bedside. there was not time for him to tell me his wishes and dreams for me and the girls for the future ... however, he and i had talked some about if we couldn't be together. he had told me during one of those talks, "if we couldn't be together, i'd want to help pick someone out for you, i don't want you to be alone."
so because of that, and because he and i had a pretty good marriage, i knew that i could move forward and keep living, even though part of me died with him that day.
i also knew, after being married to my best friend for almost 20 years that life WAS better when shared with someone you love ♥
so, it was after 20 years of being a "couple" i became a "single" and re-entered the scene of "getting to know someone" ... and at 46 years old that.is.scary!
... i promise to blog more about that someday, but for today ...
God did allow me t…