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Showing posts from March, 2012

the BEST things in life!

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Looking FORWARD to LOTS of the above in the next 10 days! :)
Though there will ALWAYS be an empty spot during our vacation, that spot where Rick should be, we WILL take the time to ENJOY those best things in life that ARE free!  We have learned all too quickly how it can change in the blink of an eye and nothing is ever the same . . . so, I will post as I can, but if I don't, please trust that I'm enjoying lots of hugs, smiles, friends, kisses (well maybe not so many of those!!), family, SLEEP, love, laughter and NEW, GOOD memories - thanks to my AWESOME brother-in-law & sister-in-law, Tim & Rochet !!  The NEW memories will never replace the OLD ones, yet, they will color some sunshine into our lives, reminding us, once again that we CAN and we WILL move forward - by God's grace!
Thank you to everyone who is and has been praying for us . . . as we embark on this first BIG JOURNEY without Rick by our sides, I can FEEL the support that we have received over the past {a…

...there is a time!

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"A life lived close to Me is not complicated or cluttered . . . when your focus is on My Presence, many things that once troubled  you lose their power over you . . . though the world around you is messy and confusing, remember that I have overcome the world . . . I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have Peace!"  ~ Jesus Calling
My life sure has not seemed "un"complicated or "un"cluttered as of late, but the past week has been a start.  Though I feel like a week has FLOWN by, I can feel that I am much more "un"cluttered (at least in my mind) than I have been.  I still have "to-do" lists that are a MILE long, but I'm learning to be happy to cross off one or two items - if they aren't all crossed off, the end of the day still comes, and that's o.k.!  So, tonight, there are dishes in the sink, laundry in the hallway, clutter on the bathroom counter, and half packed bags spread all around . . . but, my dad had a …
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"A life lived close to Me is not complicated or cluttered . . . when your focus is on My Presence, many things that once troubled  you lose their power over you . . . though the world around you is messy and confusing, remember that I have overcome the world . . . I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have Peace!"  ~ Jesus Calling
My life sure has not seemed "un"complicated or "un"cluttered as of late, but the past week has been a start.  Though I feel like a week has FLOWN by, I can feel that I am much more "un"cluttered (at least in my mine) than I have been.  I still have "to-do" lists that are a MILE long, but I'm learning to be happy to cross off one or two items - if they aren't all crossed off, the end of the day still comes, and that's o.k.!  So, tonight, there are dishes in the sink, laundry in the hallway, clutter on the bathroom counter, and half packed bags spread all around . . . but, my dad had a …

... for I know ... ♥

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I know that I've OFTEN mentioned that Psalm 139 is one of my FAVORITE passages - going back to discussing it around a campfire with friends when I was in High School!  Another favorite passage, however has been Jeremiah 29:11 . . .
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares, the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Today, as I was reading LOVING (the final book in Karen Kingsbury's Bailey Flanigan series), this verse was mentioned, reminding me of my love for it.  
Then, I was reading an e-mail devo that I receive, and this verse was AGAIN referenced!  I don't believe that it is coincidence that God puts things in my path when He does! :)
The first part of that verse is SO COMFORTING - it is WHAT has been my hope . . . HE KNOWS the plans that He has for me!  That is an amazing thought.  It is again that reminder that HE is ALREADY in our tomorrows.  NOTHING that comes our way is s SURPRISE to Him.  He is NEVER ta…

Good thoughts!

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Aahhhh! I am finding that having time to just enjoy my girls in the evening is one of the most wonderful gifts I have received in a long time!
So,with that thought in mind, I saw this "poem" (?) today and it's perfect! I find I am often repeating 2 thoughts, people don't "get" it and I miss being Rick's "priority". This says it well!

HIS grace is sufficient for ME! ♥

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I have internet again!
We are all happy about that!
With all of us using the internet all the time, you don't know how you miss it until it's gone!! I had SO MANY e-mails to look through it was CRAZY!! :)
And, I'm tired, even though I did pretty much NOTHING today!  Except for mark out the route for the 5K Fun Run/Walk our church is sponsoring to raise money for the church's mission's trip to LIBERIA this summer . . . and then I ran the route, just to check it out - and it was cold (38 degrees) and WINDY and there are 2 nice sized hills on the route - which means you go UP them FOUR times!!  
Anyway, a sweet new friend of mine sent me a Facebook message which included the verse above as well as this quote:
"Unshakable faith comes from having your faith shaken"!
I think that and the verse above area AMAZING!!  And a "sermon" on their own for tonight.  Another proof that God IS good!
Yes, God is GOOD! ♥ 

Amazing Devotional!

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Well, when we left home, our Internet was out, so in case I can't get on later, I'll just go with this for now!
It's a Saturday, 2nd adult I saw today was the trooper who came to my house "that day"....I've seen EIGHT red trucks today, 5 of them Fords and 2 of them right at the end of our road...yep, it's a Saturday!
Yet, we just finished up a nice lunch at Applebee's courtesy of gift cards we received! We are laughing and having fun! Tessa is having a good time in Grand Rapids! We leave for vacation in a week! There are silver linings, sometimes we just have to be intentional about looking for them!!!

grief is a strange thing!

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I hope the above is true of me . . . I pray I CAN learn these lessons through this "grief process" . . . 
But, I'm still going through it . . . and it stinks!
This week was a tough week, and I "heard" some comments about "where I am" that didn't set well with me.  To be TOTALLY honest, my struggles lately have been more with "people" - people who not only don't "get it", but who seem not to care about HOW DEEP a loss like we've gone through cuts.  About how it affects EVERY SINGLE aspect of EVERY SINGLE moment of EVERY SINGLE day.  And I'm sorry, but unless you have experienced it, PLEASE don't compare the death of a Daddy/husband to ANYTHING that life is throwing at you (unless it is the loss of a loved one yourself) - there is not a comparison!  (Remember, I warned at the beginning of my blogging that some times it wouldn't be "pretty")!
Today, I found this quote though, and it helped put things int…

growing strong . . . in the broken places

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... I liked this ... because, yes, I have been BROKEN. And it's a "broken-ness" that can't be explained, or understood unless you've been through it.  Yet, there are those who have, and they do understand.  Today I was blessed to have a conversation with someone who did understand!  It was really refreshing and something that I really needed today - after the decision was made for me to take some time off of work - it was good to be reassured that it was not only o.k., but a GOOD thing to do!
I am also beginning to "grow strong".  In ways I haven't been before.  I'm growing STRONG in my faith - and my ability to share it with others without fear of rejection.  I WANT to tell people how GREAT my God is.  That even in my broken-ness, He meets me - right where I am!  I'm growing STRONG in speaking my mind (hopefully in a loving, honest way).  I'm growing STRONG in realizing that I can't "do it all" and that sometimes I need to ju…

spinning plates & wearing masks . . .

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I'm really good at "spinning plates" . . .  Most recently, I've been "spinning" . . .  the "mom" platethe "I can't be Daddy, but will try to be all you need from me" platethe "friend" platethe "good church girl" platethe "co-worker" platethe "employee" platethe "exercise" platethe "house cleaner/laundress/homeowner" platethe "household banker" platethe "graduation party planner" platethe "vacation planner" platethe "I'm trying to hold it all together" platethe "I can't "give up" anything" plate . . . . . . . . O.K., I THINK you get the idea here!  I WAS (am) spinning TOO MANY plates.  And when you spin TOO MANY plates, the plates start DROPPING!  If I've learned ANYTHING in the past 4 + months, it is that my FAMILY must come first . . . and if I don't take care of "me", there is no "me&q…

showers of BLESSINGS . . .

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"I shower blessings on you daily, but sometimes you don't perceive them . . . when  your mind is stuck on a negative focus, you see neither Me nor My gifts . . . "  Jesus Calling
That's me the last couple of days, I've been stuck on a negative focus and not seeing ALL the blessings that HE is showering on me!
I've been mad.  I've felt betrayed.  I've been confused.  
But God.
But, God has been there.  But God, has been patiently waiting for me to look to Him to ask Him to take my anger away.  But God is waiting for me to realize that all human beings will fail and/or betray me at some point in life.  But God is waiting for me to turn my confusion over to HIM.  So that I CAN perceive all of the BLESSINGS that he LONGS to pour out on me.  But God wants me to CLOSE the umbrella that I have put up, stopping those blessings from pouring out on me!
Another time to CHOOSE.  To CHOOSE if I'm going to base my feelings on man who WILL fail me, or on THE MAN, Jes…

...a faithful friend! ♥

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Not feeling "fluffy" or wordy tonight (odd for me, I know!).  Actually kind of drained . . . long afternoon and evening . . . it will all be o.k.  God IS in CONTROL and NOTHING in my day comes as a surprise to Him even if it takes me off guard!
Tonight, I am THANKFUL beyond words for GOOD FRIENDS.  Good, Godly friends.  The ones who are THERE, NO MATTER WHAT! :) 
"A faithful friend is a strong defense:  and he that hath found one hath found a TREASURE."  Ecclesiastes 6:14
I'm thankful for the TREASURES that HE has put in my life! ♥
YOU know who you are and I LOVE YOU! ♥

i am HIS PRINCESS ♥

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I think I've mentioned before, and events and a conversation yesterday reminded me of my answer to the question, "What do you miss the most"?
My answer was, and is, "I miss being somebody's "priority".  I miss being the most important person in someone's life.  I could say, I miss being someone's princess".  I know that as time goes on, and day by day, my answer could and probably will change, but this is my answer right now as I struggle to learn to be "alone" - even when I'm in a crowd!
So, because I felt that "alone-ness" yesterday, because I had that conversation yesterday, because I day-dreamed about Rick yesterday and dreamed about him last night, I woke up with that empty feeling.
I went on Facebook to wish my best friend, Donna's daughter a Happy Birthday, and found a post by one of her friends (Kristi turned 19, so I'm assuming the author of the post is around that age, I don't know her).
In her pos…

the race marked out for ME

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I DID IT!!
I ran my FIRST 5K this morning!
3.2 miles . . . my goal was to finish in less than 30 minutes - which was a challenging goal.  A couple of years ago, I was running a mile a day and attempted 3 miles on my own and NEVER came in under 30 minutes - it's less than a 10 minute mile - which for me is GOOD!! :)
Today, my time was 28.17! :)
Yes, I was a LITTLE excited!! :) 
And, it didn't hit me until the finish line was in sight . . . 
. . . Nobody was waiting for me at the finish line. 
 Nobody was there "cheering" me on.  
No, that's not what I really mean.  
RICK wasn't there at the finish line.  RICK wasn't cheering me on.  
Grief hits at the strangest times.  
There is such a thing as a "runner's high" . . . I was feeling it, and right along with it, was sorrow mingled with the joy . . . THANKFULLY, I have wonderful friends and an awesome GOD!  Fred & Renee came and did the 5K walk - so while waiting for the race to start, I wasn't alo…

♥3♥16♥97♥

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March 16, 1997 . . . 15 years ago today . . .

We JOYFULLY welcomed "our"  (mine & Rick's) 2nd baby (and our family's 4th . . . we already had the 2 "big" kids, Nick & Ashley & "our" 1st, Tessa!)

TAYA JILL

into this world!

She came QUICKLY and has added SPICE to our life ever since!!  

15 years ago, I'd not have believed that we'd be celebrating this day without her Daddy "here" with us, yet, that IS the story God has written for us.

Despite the empty spot in our hearts and lives, today WAS a day filled with celebrating TAYA!  She has become a beautiful young lady, filled with love for her family, her friends and most importantly her LORD!

 She is giggly, goofy, and has a WONDERFUL sense of slap-stick humor!

I am thankful BEYOND words to be called her MAMA and I know that her DADDY felt the same about her!  She is a blessing to us and I'm anxious to see what GOD has in store for her as she continues to trust and fol…

JESUS paid it ALL ♥

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This picture says it ALL!
If you can look at this and NOT be moved . . . well, I'm not sure WHAT to say!
THIS picture depicts my HOPE.
THIS picture depicts my JOY.
THIS picture depicts the REASON I CAN SMILE.
THIS picture is the REASON that I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW exactly WHERE Rick is today and that SOMEDAY, I will be reunited with him in GLORY.
It's been awhile since I shared ... so, how did he KNOW, how do we KNOW?You can link to that post by clicking on the red letters, or keep reading here for the answer (or do both!)! ♥
The PAIN that this picture depicts is PAIN that should have been felt by me.  By you.  By Rick.  Instead, it was ALL borne by Jesus Christ.  And HE would have taken ALL of that pain even if I was the only person on this earth.  Or you.  Or Rick.  He did it for each and every one of us individually.
OH, HOW HE LOVES YOU AND ME ♥
And ALL YOU MUST DO to accept this gift HE has offered is to trust in HIM.  To believe that he suffered the death on the cross in Y…