12/23/11

"mErRy ChRiStMaS eVe, Eve (a.k.a. Merry Christmas "Adam")"!!

Rick and I always wished each other a "Merry Christmas Eve, Eve" on the 23rd.  In fact, the 23rd MAY be the day he "proposed" (I know, I'm not "overly" sentimental and don't remember the EXACT day)!  I do remember though, we had gone shopping for a "Christmas outfit" for me.  And I remember the outfit (from Fashion Bug) - white sweatshirt material STIRRUP pants and a light rose colored sweatshirt "cardigan" . . . Oh, my, just thinking of it gives me the shivers - but back then, it was "THE STYLE" . . . hopefully some things that "go around" don't come "back around"!  Anyway, as we left the store, Rick held up my coat and "helped" me into it, knowing that immediately my hands would go in the pockets because I'm ALWAYS cold.  So as we stepped out into the parking lot, in went my hands and they felt a ring box! Yes, I was TOTALLY SURPRISED! :)  That was 20 years ago, if not today, this week.  And, except for the fact that if I could have "my way" I would have chosen to keep Rick here with me longer, there isn't anything else I would change.  I think that is probably why I am able to "move on" and "survive".  I had the BEST 20 years of my life, which initially added 2 wonderful step-kids to my life, and then our 3 beautiful girls, and then grandbabies - many people don't get half that time to spend with their BEST FRIEND, or they are married, but it's not "good"!  I was blessed beyond measure, and those blessings continue with the children and grandchildren that remain!  God proved to be faithful 20 years ago this week as Rick and I made wedding plans, and HE remains faithful today.  God helped us through the good times and bad, in richer and poorer (more poorer, but that's o.k. too!), in not much sickness, and basically good health, until death did us part. But, those vows did NOT say that when death parted us, God would cease to be faithful, so I DO continue to TRUST in the faithfulness that has sustained me!

Anyway, all that to say, we always wished each other a "Merry Christmas Eve, Eve" so today, as I was looking through facebook, I had to smile when a friend of ours {Tim Decker} was happy that he had just finished wrapping his gifts and it's only "Christmas Adam" (get it, Adam comes before EVE?).  So, thanks Tim, for the smile that is still on my face! :)  

Today, my devo started out: I am King of kings and Lord of lords, dwelling in dazzlingly bright Light!  I am also your Shepherd, Companion, and Friend - the One who never lets go of your hand.  Well, that was pretty cool when last night I blogged about "who" is really my "BEST FRIEND", and no, I hadn't "read ahead" in my devotional book!  So again, GOD IS IN CONTROL of EVERY LITTLE DETAIL!

We are now home from our little adventure.  We had a really good time, the girls got their shopping done and there is a slight dusting of snow to give us at least a little bit of a white Christmas.  Laundry is almost done, table is set for Christmas Eve dinner with my parents and all gifts are wrapped!  Tomorrow we cook and do a little bit of baking.  Yes, Christmas will still come with all it's festivities.  It will be a different Christmas for us this year to be sure, but the reason for the celebration has NOT changed.  We are celebrating the birth of our Savior.  The birth of the ONE who gives me reason for hope for tomorrow.  The birth of the ONE who Rick is celebrating Christmas with this year.  So as I maneuver through these days of "celebrating" and "grieving" hand-in-hand, I will cling to God's promises, I will cling to the fact that I am assured that Rick is celebrating Christmas in Heaven, his Christmas will be gazillion times more wonderful than I can ever imagine!  I will cling to the words of two songs that God whispered to me over and over and over today.   And I know they were God's whispers because I'm pretty much a Christmas music kind of girl this time of year and neither of these are Christmas songs!  The first was:

Something beautiful, something good,
All my confusion, He understood.
All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife,
But He made something, beautiful of my life.

All my confusion, HE UNDERSTOOD!  All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife, but He made (and is making, every day) something BEAUTIFUL of my life!

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone,
Because I know, I know, He holds the future,
And life is worth the living, just because He lives.

And as I do my best to be both Mommy and Daddy (which I fail at miserably!) to our 3 girls, as much as I wish I could fill the void left in Nick & Ashley's lives, as I hurt for all their hurt and WISH I could just kiss it and make it go away, but can't, THIS verse speaks to me:

How sweet to hold, a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives
But sweeter still, that CALM ASSURANCE,
THIS CHILD CAN FACE UNCERTAIN DAYS
BECAUSE HE LIVES!

So, it's NOT me, I don't have to be BOTH Mommy & Daddy, I don't have to be the one to fill the void, I can't kiss the hurt and make it go away, but I can have this CALM ASSURANCE that this child (Nick, Ashley, Tessa, Taya & Kajsa) can face UNCERTAIN days because HE LIVES!  All I have to do is to continue to lift them up in prayer and ENTRUST them to HIS care.  HE loves them way more than I do.  He can care for them WAY BETTER than I can.  He will hold them through these uncertain days, BECAUSE HE LIVES!!

So tonight, we will CHOOSE to sleep well (we are exhausted after vacation) in HIM and tomorrow, we will CHOOSE to follow Him, to trust Him, to celebrate HIS birth, and to BELIEVE that Rick is celebrating with HIM this Christmas!

So, until tomorrow,  "Merry Christmas Adam!"!! ♥

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