... ugh!! Tonight, I'm TIRED! But it's a good, I worked hard kind of tired. So, I'm going to try to be brief (but anyone who knows me knows that MIGHT not happen - I can write ALMOST as much as I can talk!!)
Last night as I laid my head on my pillow, my mind started to wander, away from God and satan got a little foothold. I felt my heart start to race and my body start to shake, I was recalling "events" of the day on November 5 (not that recalling is BAD, but how I react can be - especially if I'm not focusing on GOD), so quickly, I realized what was happening and I gave myself a word picture - a picture of my little hand reaching up, up, up and putting my hand into a big, warm, loving hand, the hand of the Lord - and as I got this picture in my mind, my racing heart slowed, the shaking subsided and I drifted off to a wonderful night's rest - resting in the Lord.
This morning found us getting ready for school and Kajsa not feeling well, and I was again hit with the fact that I'm doing this parenting thing alone (well, not "alone" - I have lots of support, but you know what I mean - without Daddy in the house - at least not physically). We headed off to school, but came home after a bit - with Kajsa and Taya just needing some "rest". I believe we are all physically and emotionally drained - we are all sleeping well at night - 8 or 9 hours of good rest, but still, we are tired, and our bodies remind us to SLOW DOWN and allow the rest and healing that we need. I actually used the time productively and cleaned out the garage, even renting a dumpster to do a thorough job - Tessa & I can BOTH get our vehicles in the garage now - which will make for much nicer mornings with the frost and snow!
After a nap for Kajsa and some "down" time for Taya, both girls wanted to head back to school for the last 2 hours of the day - and Tessa took her turn and came home and rested - I'm so thankful for my job, the flexibility they are allowing me right now, and the fact that I'm there with the girls. I'm also thankful for their teachers who are so very understanding and have allowed them the time they need to catch up on missed work and get back into the routine of school!
When I was in Green Bay on Monday, I stopped at the Christian bookstore and at the checkout, I picked up a book with the title "Is Heaven Real?" The introduction of the book contains this quote:
"DEATH IS ONLY A DOORWAY,
A SPLIT-SECOND LEAP FROM THIS REALITY
TO THE NEXT,
TO A PLACE THAT'S AS REAL
AS THE GROUND
YOU'RE STANDING ON RIGHT NOW"
I loved that, "as real as the ground you're standing on right now"! That's pretty real! I also liked the wording - "a split-second leap from this reality to the next" because that IS the image that I hold on to from November 5. Some images that come to mind from that day do send my heart racing and my hands shaking, but the image of Rick INSTANTLY, in the TWINKLING OF AN EYE being in the presence of the LORD is an image that brings me immense comfort. It is the image from a day that felt like a terrible nightmare that sustains me and gives me peace - the image that in a SPLIT SECOND, Rick was realizing the glories of HEAVEN! Yes, I do believe Heaven is real and I look forward to reading the quotes and scriptures in my new little book - to imagine Rick knowing the amazing-ness of something that at this point I can only imagine!
I then read my devotional today, which ended with these verses from Philippians 3:20 & 21 . . .
"But our citizenship is in Heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body"
I do NOT believe it is a "coincidence" that after reading a quote about how REAL Heaven is, that my devotional then contained a verse about my CITIZENSHIP being in Heaven . . . God has ordained every moment of every day - and He gives just what is needed - Grace for each day - moment by moment - and in such amazing ways that it just makes me smile and say THANK YOU LORD, thank you for your constant and abiding love! ♥