...a friend loveth at all times...Proverbs 17:17
I have read in a couple of different places (Christian books written for widows/widowers) over the last couple of months that after losing a spouse a widow (er) will lose 75% of their friends . . . . OUCH!
That is a statistic that is SCARY! But, tonight, I was talking to a dear, dear friend who is truly one of my "core" people, and she said something like, "But, those 25% you keep are your real, true friends", I liked that. No, I LOVED that!
I'll keep the 25 and lose the 75 if that's the truth. I think in "severe crisis" like this, you do see people's real colors. You do find out who really "has your back". I really believe that unless someone has actually "walked this walk", they CANNOT get it. In my reading, I also read that the loss of a spouse is unique in that the spousal relationship is the only relationship that the Lord has commanded that the TWO to become ONE. So, in the loss of that spouse, you really do lose 1/2 of yourself. You have to find out who the "new" alone you is. You have to find out where you belong - in a couple's oriented society. BUT, I have hope in knowing that God has not left me alone! He will leave me with my 25% (or whatever my number many end up to be!). He has also left me with HIS promises to care for me. The Bible mentions widows 103 times. That means He knew widows would exist. He knew I would be one of them, and the care of them (me) was important enough to Him to be mentioned 103 times! That is a comfort as I process my thoughts tonight! That is comfort as I've had time to be still and listen to Him speaking to me over the past weeks. That is a comfort as I really begin to sift through my "new" life and who will remain and who will not. I know that He already knows. He already is in my tomorrow. I do not need to fear! I am thankful that along with the "losses" He has also blessed me with some awesome new friends - one who I had only "met" via Facebook, e-mail, snail mail and texting until this weekend when we had a nice, long chat on the phone - I feel that many more of those will happen in the future!! Love you, Leah! ♥
I don't know that I'll really lose 75% of my friends, this is a small town, so that number seems high. But, I will trust God even in this. I will trust that those who I really don't "need" will be those who I "lose" and that those who He deems important for my healing and my well being will be those that stay.
Those like my dear friend, Molly, who I just hung up with, and who inspired this post. I ♥ LOVE ♥ YOU GIRLFRIEND, and am HONORED that you ARE in my 25%!
Yes, "A friend loveth at all times" . . . even when I'm being unreasonable, unloveable, grumpy and just plain "stinky" and God is the friend "that sticks closer than a brother". Proverbs 18:24
Even though, the loss of friendship is a scary thought, there are so many promises in the Bible that I have GOD, and what can "man" do to me? I need to trust in the Lord and accept ALL that comes from His hands . . . the gains and the losses - which seem hard to accept at this time, really, more losses? But, I will trust in the truths of His word, and continue to rest in Him!
"In God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me"
Psalm 56:4
"The Lord is on my side, I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
Psalm 118:6
"So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me""
Hebrews 13:6
Sheila, our lord Jesus Christ is the friend that sticketh closer than a brother, trust in his friendship and let all of your friendships flow from that source and above all don't trust any of your feelings from the one called " grief " rest in Christ and take comfort in his love. love you dear girl in Christ, Bev.
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