I am your Lord!  Seek Me as Friend and Lover of your soul, but remember that I am also King of kings - sovereign over all!  ~ Jesus Calling

This is a good reminder today and in the coming days.  As my human mind wants to SCREAM . . . Rick SHOULD BE HERE!  He should be sharing the pride that I am feeling and experiencing through Tessa's accomplishments as a SENIOR in High School.  He should be HERE with US . . . IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!  Yes, I do "shout" those words at God at times . . . because my human mind can't always grasp the sovereignty of God.  I'm thankful that at times like that, I'm led RIGHT BACK to HIM.  And promises like the one above.


Today does not find us alone and missing Rick unbeknownst to HIM!  He is my (our) Lord.  HE is the Friend and Lover of my (our) soul (s).  And HE is KING of kings, and SOVEREIGN over all!

So, when I don't understand, He doesn't expect me to understand.  He doesn't command me to understand.  He doesn't promise to make ALL the answers clear to me.  He does promise to LOVE.  To make all things new.  To bring beauty from ashes, to give the oil of JOY for mourning!  His promises NEVER fail!

Today was a day that I could have felt very sorry for us.  Very angry at God that I'm here and Rick's not to celebrate Tessa's victories.  Yet, in all honesty, today, I enjoyed the day.  I trusted that though it makes no sense at all WHY Rick isn't here with us to my human mind, God HAS A REASON.  And I do seek to honor and glorify HIM and honor Rick's memory by seeking Him and praising Him even in this storm!

Senior Award night was tonight!  Tessa received her Honor Cords (#3 in her class), her National Honor Society Stole, many classroom and department awards as well as many scholarships.  It was a night to celebrate her and her accomplishments along with those of her friends and classmates!  And, yes, I MISSED RICK terribly, BUT, I enjoyed the evening!  I celebrate with Tessa these accomplishments, and I remind her (and her siblings) as often as I can that their Daddy IS still proud of them!

When we came home, after I went for a run (my fastest mile ever!), we talked and laughed, and laughed and laughed some more!  Tessa's best friend Katie was here too - she's one of those who is as close to being my own without giving birth to her - I'm thankful every day for HER in Tessa's (and our) life!!  I tried to take a video and almost couldn't because I was shaking too much I was laughing so hard!  In the interest of not embarrassing the person who STARTED the reason for our laughter (I'll just say 2 girls were playing 20 questions with the 3rd . . . and Kajsa had already gone to bed!) I'll not give any more details.  On a day that could have easily brought tears and anger and frustration and snapping at one another . . . . we instead had FUN with each other.  Enjoying each other's company and the GIFT of LAUGHTER!  God gave us the gift of laughter TODAY and it was the perfect end to what really was a GOOD day!

.... to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of JOY for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.  
Isaiah 61:3

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