5/27/12

Weekends....

.....yes, they do get a little easier....the pain isn't so sharp and the "panic" feelings pass more quickly....the loneliness however is more noticeable. As life settles into more of a routine, the reality that this is really our life now sinks in a little more. This new being alone. All.the.time. Not the being alone as in the kids are gone for the day/evening/weekend, this is being alone as in I'm alone if I'm in my bedroom all by myself, if I'm sitting in a church service, if I'm working at a track meet, .... No matter when it is or where I am, I still feel "alone". If I'm truly alone or in a crowd. I'm working on trusting the Lord to fill those lonely places, and I KNOW He can, it's just different than a human being filling the empty places!! This weekend though, God sent some "filling" in the way of friends! On Saturday we had two unexpected visits - both of them reminding me of the LOVE that people have for us! Sweet reminders on a SATURDAY that we are not alone. Thanks, Bev, Kim, Issy, Sara, Lexi & Jo-Jo! We also got to spend time with Nick, Ashley & the girls for Lila's 1st Birthday....another bittersweet celebration. I still can see Rick's look of pride as he was holding her a year ago....she never got to know her Papa. But, she will always be reminded of just how much her Papa loved her! So, today we CELEBRATED Lila!!

As I'm falling asleep tonight with friends over and sleeping in the tent with Kajzi and Tessa & Taya "camping out" in the living room, I WILL give thanks for the blessings in my life! Wonderful kids, sweet grand-kids, good friends, lots of laughter this weekend, frogs "singing" outside my window (and I seem to notice all those things SO MUCH MORE this year-reminders of Gods presence EVERYWHERE!). I thank Him that weekends are getting easier, and that He sends so many little blessings my way!

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