1/18/12


I "stole" this from a friend's facebook page.  It is so true . . . daily I am becoming STRONGER - in the LORD!  I cannot believe that I can say I am still standing today - I'd NEVER have believed that I could have survived the loss of Rick if I'd been able to have a "crystal ball" to see into the future (and thank goodness I didn't).  At the end of each day, I'm amazed to see how the Lord has brought me through.  On my desk at work, I have a picture of my Mom, Kajsa, Taya and me at the first basketball game Kajzi cheered at - on November 16.  When I look at that picture, I REMEMBER how "raw" I felt that night.  I remember that I felt at "peace", but still so raw.  I remember sitting at the game, wondering how I was supposed to act.  Did people who didn't know me know?  Did it show that I was a "widow"?  I still have those moments of feeling raw.  I still have that feeling of peace that only comes from the Lord.  I still wonder if people "know".  But daily there is a bit of healing.  Each day the sweet memories are a little stronger and the painful memories are a little less.  God remains faithful, and yes, IN THE JOURNEY HE IS MAKING ME STRONG!

My "Jesus Calling" devo this morning said "I have lovingly planned every inch of the way.  Trust does not falter when the path becomes rocky and steep . . . hold tightly to MY hand.  Together, we can make it!"  I think it's so neat how I've related this journey to a winding dark path and this devo talks about a rocky, steep path.  I've also talked about reaching out-and that God is ALREADY there reaching down to me and it also talks about TAKING MY HAND....TOGETHER we can make it.  God is SO GOOD!

Last night, Tessa and I got new phones (and new numbers, so if you need my new number, be sure to let me know!).  I wanted to pick my number so I could pick a number that would remind me of Rick, like "13" his favorite number or "08" for August (the month he was born) or "18" for the day of his birthday (and mine!) or even "15" for the first day of hunting season.  They told me that I couldn't pick, and then she jotted down two numbers.  One of them was 2056.  I asked what the numbers were for, and she said they were the last four digits of our phone numbers.  :)  God even cares about silly little things like phone numbers . . . Rick was born in 19"56"!! :) 

So today, I am thankful for the little ways HE reminds me of his care . . . in phone numbers and devotionals that talk about things I have already related my journey to.  In the laughter of my girls in the other room.  In the healing that I can see taking place - slow and painful healing at times, but still healing.  In all these things and more, I AM thankful!

The Sovereign LORD is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights.  Habakkuk 3:19

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  2 Corinthians 4:17

Tonight, I'm going to end with a PRAYER REQUEST!  Taya is weighing (HEAVILY) whether or not God is calling her to go on a missions trip.  I mentioned it last night.  It is with our Church, this summer (August), to LIBERIA.  She is not feeling an overwhelming sense of peace either way on the trip.  She was supposed to give a FINAL answer tonight, but just couldn't.  Tomorrow, we will find out if there is any "wiggle room" in her decision or not.  This is huge for her.  This is huge for me.  As I said last night, I've learned that Wallace is no safer than Liberia - in that when God calls us home, we are going, no matter where we are.  But, as a mama, to "LET" her go someplace I consider dangerous is a huge leap of faith.  Please pray with us for God's will.  God's direction. And CLARITY! Thank you!


3 comments:

  1. I'm praying for both Taya's and your absolute peace and clarity!

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  2. Praying to the Lord for you. I feel for you..Michelle

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  3. Sheila, I relate to "raw" or as for me "naked" also apply's to how I feel at times, but as I keep looking to my father for strength, he covers the raw and naked spots with his love, such love I have never known before, it is awesome and wonderful, without spot or blemish, mind blowing. I am praying with you for God to guide the decision for misson trip, in the counsel of many there is wisdom, he will guide and answer. love you all, in Christ, Bev.

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if you have followed my blog at all you know that my heart has always been to share God's grace in the midst of human tragedy ... or wh...