... I liked this ...
because, yes, I have been BROKEN.
And it's a "broken-ness" that can't be explained, or understood unless you've been through it. Yet, there are those who have, and they do understand. Today I was blessed to have a conversation with someone who did understand! It was really refreshing and something that I really needed today - after the decision was made for me to take some time off of work - it was good to be reassured that it was not only o.k., but a GOOD thing to do!
I am also beginning to "grow strong". In ways I haven't been before. I'm growing STRONG in my faith - and my ability to share it with others without fear of rejection. I WANT to tell people how GREAT my God is. That even in my broken-ness, He meets me - right where I am! I'm growing STRONG in speaking my mind (hopefully in a loving, honest way). I'm growing STRONG in realizing that I can't "do it all" and that sometimes I need to just "be still". I'm growing STRONG by taking care of myself . . . first by eating well and exercising, and most recently by realizing that I needed a BREAK! I didn't realize how stressed I was at work until I realized tonight how "un" stressed I was knowing I'm off tomorrow, and next week! I'm thankful that God led me to realize that I needed a break BEFORE I crashed - before all the plates stopped spinning! And I'm thankful to the people who agreed with me that a break was not a sign of weakness, but a good thing. A thing that will help me to continue moving along "grief-road" and the path to healing and restoration - no, things will NEVER be the same again, yet I WILL continue to CHOOSE to trust that I am on the path that GOD has chosen for me and that because of that He will bring healing, and He will restore. My world, my life, our family will NEVER be restored to what it was, yet, He does have plans for us, "Plans to prosper and not to harm". I WILL continue to CHOOSE to trust in that promise!
I am still told by people how "strong" I am. I still answer, it's NOT me, it's my God! For, I have been broken, but it is through HIS strength that I HAVE found the courage I need - the courage to face each new day, the courage to be a single mom, the courage to stand up and say "I need a break", the courage to begin again - to "grow strong" - even in the weak places . . . through HIS grace and mercies that He constantly bestows on me!
Rejoice and be thankful! As you walk with Me through this day, practice trusting and thanking Me all along the way . . . thankfulness lifts you up above your circumstances . . . ~ Jesus Calling
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4
"Those who know Your Name will trust in You, for You, LORD have never forsaken those who seek you!" Psalm 9:10